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Posted - 12/25/2002 :  15:10:09    [script removed]

HOW A FAMILY HAD CHRISTMAS

I suppose since it is this time of year and Clayton remembers Martha Stewart visiting me last year it is time to fill your stockings with laughter. This is not written without a great deal of embarrassment on the part of this adjuster but as I write this I still get tears of laughter. Enjoy it as I may never again share a true experience with any of you--mainly because none of you will ever let me live this down....

Most of you have worked under less than ideal climates and this assignment is no different. You do what you can and go back when the snow, ice or rain has disappeared to inspect the roof. I had one of those charming little Craftsman houses, straight little boxes with steep little roofs. I had known from my first inspection there were 2 layers and the roofing was old.

Suddenly, this day the sun came out and today was the day to get the roof inspected. I did everything right, tied the ladder off to the gutter, etc. Gingerly took a step or two off the ladder and deemed it safe enough--safe enough at the bottom. However, as I got nearer the ridge, granules began flying and I was climbing on bb's. So up I scramble to the ridge--Whew! made it! I continued with my inspection and thought, oh, well, this won't be the easiest to get off but I'll make it. I got up--I'll get down.

So I planned my simple reasonable strategy to get off. Oops! sliding again. Back to the ridge! I knew the homeowner was home, so I pounded a time or two on the roof. Guess he thought Santa was coming early or ??? The next sound I hear is the homeowner's car leaving. On to Plan B...Okay, you brilliant person, what the heck are you going to do now! So as I am sitting on the ridge the rain starts up again. Oh, did I mention the wind chill was about 16 deg. F. before the freezing rain began.

So here I sit, on a cute little house, on a steep little roof in the freezing rain thinking, "if I don't die getting off this I'll die of pneumonia!" Wonderful! just simply wonderful!! So I look around this charming little neighborhood from my perch. AH HA! I see a neighbor sitting looking out her patio door with a phone attached to her ear! Simple, just get her attention and I'll get down!

(Before you ask, I had already weighed the possibility of aiming for the ladder, because I had secured it properly, and taking my chances, but since reason contents me, I re-thought this plan, fully believing the gutter would go flying with the ladder still attached and me swinging on the ladder and I would wind up on the neighbors house very near. Not a pretty sight running around in my head.)

Back to the neighbor on the phone. I finally wave and get her attention--she waves back...I wave again with more fervor!--she waves back...I wave again--she waves back. At this point all I have going through my head are all the really lousy "B" slapstick movies I ever suffered through! Obvious this lady just thinks there is an idiot in the rain perched on top of this cute little house on the little steep roof getting some cardiac exercise waving her arms! I have had enough of the cold and the rain and so began waving both my arms at this lady! She finally pokes her head out (with the phone still at her ear) and asks what I am doing on the roof.

I explain I am unable to get down, so she goes back in her house! What am I going to do? I have now chastised myself for about 45 minutes for not taking my cell phone on the roof with me! She disappears for about 10 more minutes. By this time I know this is a really, really bad omen. But suddenly out she pops all bundled up! Whew! Things are looking up. She walks into the side yard and asks, "Would you like some hot chocolate?" My unspoken thoughts are not to be seen in print! However, since I was in no position to remark, I simply thanked her and asked that she call the fire department and be very sure to tell them it wasn't an emergency. The heck it wasn't! But from my experiences with this nice lady, I really didn't know what she might tell them. In my head I can still see the credits from the movie!

She leaves and returns and again asks, "Are you sure you don't want some hot chocolate?" Things were getting rather serious at this point but again, I held back with my unspoken thoughts and waited very patiently on the Fire Chief to appear. He arrived some minutes later, came scrambling up my ladder, inquired if I was okay, I explained that I was except for being embarrassed and then says, "I'll come up and wait with you--there's a truck coming." Guess he thought I wouldn't wait! I begged him not to step off that ladder but no, what do I know! Two steps and he was sliding back to the ladder. Visions of the ladder and gutter flying again were running around in my head! He then decided to stay on the ladder and just laugh with me!

The truck arrives! Yippee! I can now get off this old, nasty, slick, steep little roof on this charming little house! As you can imagine--it took 6 strong, brave, brawny firemen to bring one simple little ladder! all laughing so hard they were bending double! with remarks like Santa coming early.....among others!

When my feet hit the terra firma I made a bee-line for my checkbook and put lots of ink on a check. I thanked all of them profusely. The chief refused my check so I told him to just make sure some family had Christmas. He then graciously accepted it and said some family would indeed have Christmas.

(There was some remark made about, "I wonder if all Texans are this crazy?")

Yes, Clayton and all, I am far from home this Christmas but may be having one of my best--I didn't end up in the Emergency Room, the firemen got a good laugh, and a family will have Christmas today! I am having a beautiful white Christmas and I couldn't ask for more!

I feel richly blessed just knowing all my friends scattered all over North America! Merry Christmas to all of you.

Linda

Edited by - Linda on 12/25/2002 22:36:22