| Author |
Message |
Cecelia (Cecelia)
| | Posted on Monday, June 19, 2000 - 10:32 pm: | |
I have to say, and sorry it took so long for me to post, that Suzanne's post was a WONderful read. In this industry this is a very positive attitude. Just goes to show that a good relationship takes alot of work. Being apart may take a little more. But in reading this post it is obvious that these two people are totally in love.  |
SinCere
| | Posted on Thursday, June 15, 2000 - 1:59 pm: | |
Thank-you Suzanne Hillis for your thoughtful comments and suggestions. Can we have more from other spouses? |
Ghostbuster
| | Posted on Thursday, June 15, 2000 - 1:27 pm: | |
Or...the other side of the coin.
Let us not forget the ancient adages:
1) When it comes to inlaws; Distance makes the heart grow fonder.
2) When it comes to nagging; Have wife, must travel.
3) When it comes to whining; Shutup, and send the money home. |
Mike Hillis
| | Posted on Thursday, June 15, 2000 - 10:49 am: | |
Okay guys this is from my wife as the post requested.
This profession can tear apart a marriage but it can also build a much stronger bond. If you have small children at home it is even harder. As we did. When my husband left for his first large assignment to work Hurricane Andrew I was a mess the whole time he was gone. So was he. But the people needed the help due to severity of the damages. So we knew we had to better prepare ourselves for the next time. First thing we do is talk on the phone at least once a day. Usually the first thing in the morning of at bedtime. The phone bills are higher but it keeps us together. He doesn't feel he's being left out & I dont feel abandond. We also try to put a luttle romantic spin on ot. Whisper sweet nothings a little pillow talk. Use a little imagination. I also writ him letters via mail. I clip out funny cartoons or articles from papers and magazines, sent him our kids work, report cardsand again turn parts intolove and anticpation letters.
Take pictures of your family with you. When I pack him up to go I hid all kinds of little love notes throughout his things and pockets.. Some he will find right away some weeks later. each a surprise & a reminder that I love him & miss him & cant wait till he gets back.
He'll get up early in the mornings and sometimes will fax me a little love letter so when I get up in the morning I start my day with a great feeling & I cant wait till it is time for our phone call.
I also try & fly into see him atleast 1 week he's gone. It's usually toward the end of the storm. Its worth the expence. I look forward for our little honeymoon. He still does his work but I am with him while he's driving around. Thats when we have time to talk. we are together and thats whats count. Theres alot more you can do if you plan ahead.
It has worked. We've been married for 33years.
Keeping in touch daily several ways it doesn't really feel like he's away. Hes with us every day and several times a day. Even if I'm just thinking about him & how else can I suprise him. It makes him feel missed & loved. We dont have the time to feel the missing because we're still in touch.
Remember this is the profession he is in and the people he is seeing has suffered a loss and they are scared and need his help as soon as possible. This is my answer to your question & I hope it helps.
Suzanne Hillis |
Chuck Deaton
| | Posted on Thursday, June 15, 2000 - 7:27 am: | |
Unfortunately,the answer is built in. Either you, your wife and your marriage is strong enough to take it or not.
The truth is that this profession eats personal relationships like peanuts. |
THE PHANTOM
| | Posted on Thursday, June 15, 2000 - 4:43 am: | |
SIN CERE:
One has to set his or her own priorities.
Frankly, this profession on the road is not one I recommend for one with little ones at home.
Why not work as a staff adjuster until you have done your family duties of raising your children to an age of 15 or so and then think about traveling? Perhaps your wife can join you shortly thereafter. At least you will have a better chance of having the same one to join you then. |
Sin Cere
| | Posted on Thursday, June 15, 2000 - 12:15 am: | |
I have been watching this Forum and website for quite some time. But I have never seen a really important issue discussed. Would some of the spouses "left behind" at home help me with an answer.
Here is my question:
I am an adjuster "on the road" right now. I usually spend quite some time on the road each year cat adjusting.
Whenever I must travel, it puts a strain on my family at home. It puts a strain on my marriage.
My wife "hates it" when I have to leave and sometimes for months at a time.
Could some of the spouses especially, and some of the adjusters too, PLEASE address this issue.
I LOVE this work BUT my marriage is going to be in trouble if I don't find an answer.
Please don't suggest that the wife travel with me, we have several "little ones" at home, and it is not practical. |
|
